Empathy, Compassion and Power

It's easy to forget just how powerful we are. Partially we are frightened, scared of our own part in the overall picture. We smokescreen our own power by playing mental tapes in our heads, fussy, untrue tapes about how alone we feel.

That's when we get sick or run down and blame everything around us for our malaise, refusing to see the truth - that we have fallen into our own mental trap of denying compassion in our world.

Empathy is easier to grasp than compassion. We can all agree for instance that health care is in a ridiculous state in this country. I am reminded of pictures I've seen from the Great Depression, lines of people waiting desperately for help. A dentist down my street offered free dental work all day yesterday as a gift to the community. (My skeptical self saw it as a marketing ploy.) Nonetheless, there were blocks of people in line yesterday morning at 7:30 when I drove to work waiting for the office to open two hours later, desperate for dental services. There were plenty of children in that line. It's odd to think we live in a time when a child could get sick or be in pain and not receive treatment.

So I felt empathy, a pain in my gut for the situation, and an odd guilt in knowing somehow I'm not using my own personal power to fix it. Empathy is a start, but our aim should be compassion.

Compassion is the life blood of being - all being - it is the magic, healing ingredient that stirs the pot, generates movement and flow in an out of itself. Compassion exists within and with out the being, our being, at the same time. It fills in the spaces that engender life itself. Our compassion will be our salvation.

Honoring Self

My parents are typical Italians. When something bothers them, they tell you and everyone else, loudly, openly, with no reservations. Mom talks often about honoring feelings; when I am upset or angry or jealous or floating on air in love she'll say - "Oh that's okay. That's how you feel," as if the feeling itself is a validation.

It's taken me this long in this lifetime to realize mom is right. I want the truth. I want to be honest. Inner feelings are a gauge, a signpost leading directly to what's real. When I think too much, intellectualize my emotions, deny them because they don't align to some external, fake standard I'm setting up in my mind, I deny myself and the life around me.

Honoring the self within is crucial to the creative process. Our feelings at their root are the golden sliver of inner truth that produces alchemy. They bring into being the magical nature within us that allows us to write, paint, sing, even occupy Wall Street, all in honor of our own being.

We are already perfectly designed to notice the anger, jealousy, attractions, especially attractions that will stir us, move us in the direction of creation, allowing us to be a centrifugal force, spinning, morphing, becoming ourselves.

Acknowledging feeling validates the true self. That is when the heart becomes an open book for channeling the eternal, the seat of connection to all being, the creative connections to the central, radiating, shifting, glistening truth that is our birthright.

Feelings are the seed of creativity. Thanks mom.

(The photograph is from the book signing for Bear Speaks. I am toasting with my dear yoga friend Max, my sister-in-law Bonnie Delight. That's Stephen Doherty playing the guitar in the background.)

The Biggest Challenge...

The best time for me to meditate is in the early morning - before the sun comes up. That's when my house is the quietest, everyone else is asleep - excepting the three meowing cats, but once I feed them all is clear for take off.

I light candles. The flames flicker all over the place and bounce off of furniture the walls, my own body, making curious shadow shapes on the ceiling and walls. As the sun rises outside my shadows, distinct and obvious in the dark, fade, and there is only me, sitting quiet in front of the flickering light.

Then the challenge becomes obvious. It's a matter of being mystical and real at the same time. I'm working on that one today.

(The photo was taken by Anne Jablonski at our beloved Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana - one of the most mystical, real places on the planet.)

Redirecting Worry

It's easy to spin - to freak out - about nothing at all. Once we start we can create all sorts of unreal dramas, conflicts with everyone from our supervisor at work to the mail man, potential scenarios that will maim and disfigure those we love. (Any mother will attest to the pit in her stomach that churns into panic as she "invents" possible disasters that might attack her children.)

It's not that worry, fear and doubt are wrong, but that they are a misdirected expression of our energy, a mental miscue about what is happening around us. The key is to redirect that fear energy into something real, something productive, something that demonstrates the truth of what is happening.

Imagine the capability of that mental energy if it were not swirling around and around all over itself in the form of worry! It's not just worry that distorts our energy flow - addictions, perceived jealousies, threats - all are mental examples of trapped, misdirected power. To fall prey to them is to become locked in a cycle of error.

Fear is the error; love is all that is real - all there is. To operate from a state love instead of fear is to allow our energy to morph, to flow with the movement of the life around us. When we do that, we are truly free.

Joy and Empowerment

We can feel stuck by past decisions, when really we are innocent, innocent, innocent, and perfectly free in every given moment to choose joy. It's simply a matter of realizing that the past is no longer with us. We aren't bound by it, because it isn't real.

Any prior decisions or choices we may or may not have made back then are gone, no more substantial than smoke from an extinguished candle. AT NO TIME DOES THE PAST HAVE ANY POWER OVER THE NOW, and how we are living.

Within each now moment, within every instant, we have the opportunity to choose joy. Guilt and regret have no function because they exist no where except in our own heads. Any residual pull we may feel from them is simply habit.

There will never be any situation without hope. We always have some inkling that if we simply turn within, we can go back to joy. It's not like we don't know where joy is. We always know. It's right there inside us all the time. It's not like we're floundering anywhere, ever, except in our own heads.

The Phantom of Here Right Now

A dear friend of mine is in love. You can tell when you look at her that love is the case because of the way her skin flushes, and her blue eyes meet everything they take in with an undeniable sparkle. Her hair has taken on a new sheen too. It's cheaper than any beauty treatment on the planet - falling in love.

But when love comes our way, sits right in front of us, declares us "lovely, lovely, lovely," we tend to shy away in disbelief - "Who, me?" we might say. And then we back away.

On the deepest level we know it's right here, now, that we are indeed lovely and lovable. That kind of gut level knowing is horribly romantic; we know love is there in a primitive, basic way; we remember it, and our bodies light up when they are reminded of it.

We wonder - "am I pretty enough, am I witty enough, am I enough?" But love hangs on - it appears in dreams, whispering over and over again - "Now, now, now" and even though we don't feel ready, that now is here, and our own misguided disbelief is all that's keeping us from joining what's already happening right now: love, at an explosive, uncontained, pure level.

Pure Potential

(Photo of the Prayer Flag Ceremony by Anne Jablonski.)

In order to get off the treadmill we've got to allow ourselves to be pure, to wipe out all our old, stale habits that aren't serving us any more, even as we are tempted to continue operating from our usual faulty stance. We're going to have to allow pure potential to unfold, and we can't do that when we have preconceived, necesarily limited notions about what is ocurring.

Sometimes it can feel like we're stuck to our old patterns like glue, like we can't possibly let them go. It's important to remember that unlimited potential is never predetermined. It's important to feel freedom.

We must remain pure -

like a baby,

like a new born,

we must be that innocent.

And then we will find our wings and fly.

Miraculously Connected

Notice people you have a mysterious bond with today: maybe it's a friend who keeps going through similar experiences at the time as you are, maybe someone just "appears" who understands your situation exactly, maybe it's someone you can sit across the table from at a meal and not say a word, but know exactly what they are thinking, maybe it's someone whose mind you know long distance.

Be grateful for the connections. They remind us we are never alone.

Places That Scare Us

That's the title of a Pema Chondron book - The Places That Scare Us; I've always loved that title for it's rhythm, similar to another favorite - Where the Wild Things Are. Come to think of it both those books are about fear and how it paralyzes and harms us, preventing us from moving into our potential.

I don't like to admit I'm afraid. It's a defense mechanism, I know, especially since the root of my fears is complete abandonment, that somehow I'll be left behind, whether by colleagues at my teaching job because I'm stymied by new technology that looks scary to learn, by publishers willing to back new book ideas ("really - you liked that idea, I'm not sure I can actually write it to its full potential") or by friends, lovers, even close family I feel I can't possibly deserve. There's a tension there; if this really is heaven - and it is heaven where we are now - a place filled with explosive love, creative ideas swirling around, and technology that connects us all - then it is our own sense of not being worthy, not being capable, not being open enough, that prevents us from going through those pearly gates.

WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH - right here, right now, as we are, and the battle against fear is just part of the action, part of our own mental drama. Yes, it looks scary out there - there are conditions that look like disease, cancer, insanity, and human threats to our peace, but the truth is the most earth shattering challenge to our potential is in our heads. Let's be tender with ourselves then. We are already enough.

Focus

It helps to be conscious of our goal here. The ego loves to abuse our thinking minds to distract all of us.

Everyone has their own pet distractions. For me the number one distraction is scheduling. I tell myself what I am doing is useful - that I am planning for future joy, but really the idea that I can independently plan on a calendar how and when I'll allow myself bliss is ridiculous. It feeds my need to feel in control, and leads to hours upon hours of scribbling dates, making plane reservations, canceling those reservations, organizing e-mails and writing notebooks, setting up when such and such is going to happen.

Movement toward truth doesn't happen that way - it is a synergistic flow that occurs when we let go into the the larger plan, life, instead of trying to force it.

It's a comfort to know that when the scheduling bug bites I am on the edge of true fulfillment; the planning is the ego's way of saying, "Hey, you need me!" The ego knows when we're about to slide into bliss and dump it, so it screams like an angry, spoiled child, putting out a smoke screen about this future that will never arrive.

My second mental distraction from Truth is to create false drama. This one is really evil because it takes interactions with other people that are based on love and perverts them into a conflict. Drama is the way the ego destroys love - the love that is the goal in the present where the ego cannot exist!

The way to get past these distractions is to remember that goal, and instead of deciding to plan when we'll get to it later, to turn to it with a sense of peaceful surrender right here, right now.

Thundrous Even

I have a tendency to jerk myself through changes in a manner that is sudden and abrupt. In an instant I'll decide to quit college, change relationships, walk out of jobs. It's not all as sudden as it looks; the change builds inside for quite some time before it happens, then all of a sudden, boom, it expresses itself. Sudden change is my habit. When I was younger I'd make these shifts without knowing why; it would feel like, "Oh, I'm uncomfortable, can't pinpoint the reason," and then move into "I can't stand it any more, I'm out of here."

Today seems like a good time to get more attuned to what's happening, to truth of inner and outer change instead of flailing around as a victim of habit. The thunderous movement is still happening - there are many who see 2011 as a pivotal year in the history of humanity. The goal is to remain calm and even during the shift. Can we remain calm during an earthquake, a tsunami, a break up, a change in jobs, the movement of our children to college, and even when we face what looks like illness and disease?

It's easier to move through our own stages of development from a place of peace. So let's be clear on the goal today: we are here to express and teach the truth - the underlying unity of the love that connects us all - and to experience that connection in a state of synergy.

Enjoy

(The photograph is from the central square in Asheville, North Carolina.)

I am lucky because I have an amazing sister-in-law; she has such a zest for living - even her answering machine ends with the words, clear and sweet, "Have fun!" Erich Schiffmann, the teacher I've been lucky enough to study with for the past 15 years or so is of a similar ilk. If an earthquake happens (we were in a huge one together in Montana, and then another one while we were all doing yoga together here in LA) his declaration is "This is fun." Whenever I mention I am doing anything, even the most mundane chore to him, recently it was registering my daughter for school, his comment is "Sounds like fun," or just like my sister-in-law, "Have fun!"

Yogis tend to be very disciplined when it comes to diet - at least traditionally. So I tested Erich a couple years ago with a lasagna recipe passed down from a Sicilian grandma I know. It is filled with cheese and meat. I figured Erich would eschew this meal offering as inherently unhealthy, but when I offered to it to him he loved it - spicy Italian sausage and ricotta cheese and all.

This morning during meditation I asked for one word of guidance. I've been feeling like a failure as a yoga practitioner; ambivalent about the end of summer and heading back to a teaching job, not writing quickly enough on my second novel - maybe I should be waking up at four in the morning, meditating two or three hours instead of only 15 minutes. Maybe I should type out a regimented schedule for how to navigate through everything from diet to writing to lesson plans to making love. Isn't it a matter of discipline?

My guidance during meditation was "enjoy." What??? Resistance kicked in full force; that can't be right - that's not controlled or organized enough. How will I accomplish anything if I allow myself to do that?

Then I noticed the sun shining through our garden window over Layton's potted ficus plant. I noticed my breath and really started to bliss out on that. I noticed the silence of the early morning. It felt like a great weight lifted from my shoulders, like I'd been tweaking myself the wrong way up until then, and now I was getting adjusted.

Yeah, it feels kind of amazing to "enjoy." Maybe that's the whole point after all.

An Excerpt from my Upcoming Book

This woman just looks like a young Esther, I tell myself. It’s impossible for this woman to actually be her. Then she is running toward me, and we are hugging and I wonder that my arms don’t just go right through her since she must be a ghost. But she is quite solid, and in excellent physical shape, better than I am myself if I am honest. Her arms feel like she’s been lifting weights for the past nine months of her absence. Of course that’s ridiculous; she’s been dead, not off on a trip to a health spa.

She is definitely in her prime now; she receives three double takes from men passing by, but flicks off their attentions like so many flies, like the diva she’s always been, like the diva she is.

“Esther,” my eyes are tearing now from the shock, and the pure joy of seeing her again, “Is it really you?”

“Of course, Dearest Friend, I would think that’s fairly obvious.”

And in that instant I am jostled forever out of my old habits of looking at her, everything. I realize that how I interact with everyone, not simply her has been in error, how stilted it’s been and misaligned – all along – like hitting a repeat button on a skipped, scratched part of an old record album that keeps going back to the same spot, the same scratch again and again because the scratch has been ingrained that way into the record and there’s no stopping it. It would take a bit of rattling to shift it out of there – the scratch has worn deep because of repeat after repeat after repeat. I’ve kept perceiving, kept interacting, kept refusing to see the truth, kept acting out the same patterns of misperception over and over again; it makes me want to cry.

But now her physical presence, alive and vital, has jolted me out of that earlier dream that was a nightmare, and I am buying into the business of immortality because it is right there in front of me.

I want her to feed it to me. I’ve been parched and hungry for it out here in this desert, and now she has finally arrived to help me see it, though space that isn’t there, through time that doesn’t exist, right there in front of me now, holding me together with the truth of who she is, evidence beyond evidence that she is still here.

The Image of Our Friends

What does the face of Truth look like? Is it the face of a specific individual we can plaster on a T-shirt or billboard, or is the image of divinity by definition a mental construct, a fuzzy blend of friend, lover, teacher that doesn't translate to the solid, specific easily?

Certain written works or movies or paintings we may automatically look at and love, say to ourselves, yes there it is, there He or She is, the face of Truth. And when that happens we know we've witnessed an alchemy via the artist. He or she has taken the divine and made it palpable, corporal, real.

When we are physically hungry, or tired, or in pain we can get distracted from what is real. Even the smallest irritations can become huge, pressing, demanding our attention, and we think to ourselves, "if only this scrape, or broken limb, or annoying individual were solved, I could appreciate God then. But right now I've got to argue this parking ticket, reschedule my flight, and by the way that pulled tendon in my knee is really hurting."

Sometimes I can't get to the mental reality for the physical exigencies yanking at me! Until I realize the truth is in those moments of suffering the same as it is in everything else - the key is to remember its presence, the divine in everything. And then the distractions are no longer distracting.

I have an image of my Grandma Carpini that can get me through anything: I see her as energetic, luminous, ageless and glowing. When I conjure that image in my mind's eye I know that I am never alone. If I could put that vision of her on a T-shirt with the mantra "love, love, love" under it, I would be conjuring a physical picture of Truth.

The big idea is to see everyone and everything that way: unencumbered, real, here now.

Lies and Cleansing

It's easy to lie when our physical system is clogged and grimy. Lately I've been overindulging in junk food; don't get me wrong - there are times when licorice and chocolate and cheeseburgers and fries are the perfect food. At those times, we can and should eat to our hearts content and we won't hurt ourselves or our bodies. A problem arises when we allow ourselves to become mentally and physically clogged.

Then the same french fries that are in the right moment comforting become toxic, tripping up our whole system, sitting too heavy in our collective gut.

When we allow ourselves to become spiritually heavy, weighted down by negativity and false perceptions of other people or groups we open ourselves up to a series of "lies" about what is going on around us. We mis-perceive actions others may take and our own situation as threatening and limited. Other people are potential competitors, out to get us from every possible angle; they might use up limited physical resources like food and water, they might steal the affections of those we love away from us. Everything and everyone is perceived as a potential threat.

The extreme of living the lie of these perceptions is death. Death by definition is the cessation of movement, the repetition of conditioned habits as its own, ultimate destructive habit. It is the opposite of the ongoing life obviously around us, and it holds a sickening glamour of its own making - we can get stuck on it like a hamster in a wheel.

Recognizing the grime and grit we've let build up out of habit is the first step toward cleaning out the system - the entirety of all we are and all we can hope to become from a more nutritious diet, one based one the truth that is.

This was one of the free form songs from yoga class today.

Check out the video - it's so fun.

I'm on the Air This Tuesday...

June 7, 8:00am (Pacific Time)
Live interview on Linda Mackenzie's
Creative Health & Spirit Show.
Airs on HealthyLife.net radio.
LISTEN ONLINE

www.healthylife.net

Calcification

I'm getting my teeth cleaned today.

It's funny because I can walk around for awhile with grime on my teeth before I notice they are a mess - and it needs to be loosened and removed.

It's that way with old, ingrained of habits of perceiving other people too. I've noticed lately that lots of these habits are calcified; like with my teeth I interact with the same people the same way over and over again, and then judge them when they react the same way back without even knowing that I am perpetuating, creating the pattern.

Some of my habits were my parents habits - some probably come from their parents before them, so they really are ingrained. It actually is a form of liberation to notice what I am doing, and then scrape away all that - to decide to stop walking around with a dirty, built up psyche.

I've been working on channeling my mom and dad from the times when they were loving to me as parents, and noticing that channeling, and realizing, "oh yeah, I had pretty loving parents." It's funny how subtle and sneaky those negative habits are; it's like my ego wants to keep all these judgmental hang ups. It doesn't want to clean up.

I really am ready to get my teeth cleaned today. I really want to get rid of the prior baggage - the dirt and nonsense I'm throwing on lots of other people. I hurl residual garbage their way then wonder why I can't see them clearly, why they keep reacting to me the same way.

It makes more sense to "wave" to them from a clean vantage point instead, and let them "wave" back from a cleaned up angle.

Unlimited

I'm working on a play at the school where I teach this week. Anne Monique, my daughter, comes in after her school is over to help. Yesterday as I was talking about the kids and their parts and their talents with her she stopped all of a sudden and said, "Mommy, you love them!" Later she added, "That's a good thing," as though to clarify her observation.

Anne Monique's statement has reoriented my take on my interactions with the students this week. The same evening I received an e-mail that a dear, beautiful friend of mine has been re diagnosed with cancer - a year after it was removed from her body. I've felt a rush of feeling in her direction - a powerful force coming from deep within and everywhere around me toward her healing.

For me love has always been a romantic, iconic notion, involving the urge to merge with one other being on a physical level. Now I'm learning that the power behind that pull is unlimited.

Extend the love you have for the one, to the many, to the all. Let's try it today.

The Implication of Being

A dear friend of mine just had a baby. It always blows me away to be around a baby - the small toes and fingers, and the entire gravity of life all expressed with such perfection.

But then we are that way too; the fact of our being has implications, that we are the product, the direct expression of being as it's evolved as us. It helps to remember that and notice the implications of who we are.

To recognize the implications of our being is to notice that we are a centrifugal force. My teacher says to think of a spinning top and that analogy is useful. It's easy to get side tracked by all the peripheral "stuff" - thoughts, expectations, excitement - swirling around our psyches. If we can see ourselves as balanced, right in the middle of all of it, then it all becomes effortless.

Then we notice we are the cetrifugal force of the entire unity that is, that we hold within each of us nothing less than the core of all Infinity.

(The photograph was taken by Anne Jablonski at Feathered Pipe Ranch outside of Helena, Montana. I love that part of woods there.)

Unblocking Gratitude...

We're having sublimely amazing weather in Los Angeles this week - balmy, toasty warm, perfectly blue sky over all of it.

It's an optimal time to breathe gratitude.

For the weather, for presence, for all of it.

(The photo is from the jetty at Playa del Rey.)

Equanimity

It's helpful to keep our equanimity - to not allow worries about money, health, anything really, distract us from the truth. It's "monkey mind," that endless internal chatter that can throw us off, but then it's amusing when we catch ourselves falling for our own mind-prattle.

Ultimately we do have rule over the universe that is our mind.

Today, I remember to keep clear as I uncover - realize - the infinite joy that cradles us all.

Easy/Obvious - The Story of Abraham

(Anne Monique and her best friend Rebecca with me at the October book signing launch for Bear Speaks.)

For some reason Anne Monique and I were talking about the story of Abraham and Issac yesterday. She brought it up as evidence that the dictates of the Bible are just plain cruel. I've always found that story enigmatic, probably because I see so many parallels between myself and Abraham. I can relate to the guy - he's getting older, trying to follow the dictates of Truth - God - the inner voice of guidance inside, and he's got this only kid he loves more than anything, more than all of that. So his inner voice, the voice of Truth, in the story it's God - God tells him to kill the kid, and Abraham is thrown into the ultimate dilemma: does he protect what matters most to him, or listen to the Voice of Truth? God only lets Abraham off the hook when he's ready to do it - kill the kid - the knife's at the edge of Issac's throat when God finally tells Abraham he can stop.

Anne Monique hates that story. She says it reminds her of soldiers in an army blindly following orders, or disciples slaughtering innocent people because they think God told them to do it. I'm struggling with the thematic of that story also; it'd be easy to just dismiss it as dated literature with no relevance.

But if I take out the killing your kid business, I get it. For me it's simple things I don't want to do - stuff like visiting my mother-in-law instead of my own parents this Easter, sharing supplies I horded at the beginning of the year with other teachers at school, being more loving to people who cut me off on the freeway, sitting here writing this blog when my own private will wants to sleep in late and spend the day eating chocolate. Usually my inner voice tells me to stop acting like a spoiled child. For me sitting in prayer or meditation and telling the prattle in my noisy head to "shut up" gets me to a place where I am less hurtful, more real.

There's still the killing your kid business. As I struggle with this story I think of other dictates from another part of the Bible: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind," and "love your neighbor as yourself." The big idea is to expand our definition of family, stop being territorial and clinging to what we label "ours," especially our best beloved "only" children. Instead, the idea is to allow the love we feel for them to spread to all people and things around us - to have an expanded view of that love instead of a contracted, clingy one.

It's a tough call, but worth working on today...

Continuity...

I ran across this photo of Joseph Campbell, Jean Erdman, and Joan Halifax from Feathered Pipe Ranch in the 1970s. There he stands - the man who coined the phrase "follow your bliss" and launched modern studies into shamanism.

His presence there - in front of the same lake and tepee where we've camped, practiced and prayed the last six years - reminds me of the ongoing continuity to what is happening.

Today I resolve to be open to the blessings of that continuity.

The Law of Love

He was all that - willingly.

And there were others who were that.

And so then can we be that.

We will not abandon them, then.

Safe here in this room - in this space - in this everywhere.

Everyone - all that - warrior.

Willingly.

I Love You...

...without expectation

Eternally.

Just a little afraid of the expansion;

but getting braver.

The Necessary Physical

I love the local coffee shop where I do most of my writing. The tables are mismatched in bright, Formica colors. They are intermixed with cushy chairs and couches. It consists of several adjoining rooms, each painted a different pastel color and covered with art work from local artists; today it is mixed portraits of the same woman. In some of the paintings her head is scrambled Picasso-like into Easter egg colored puzzle pieces.

I sit here and write a story about an angel, in between the necessary diversion of e-mailing friends. The e-mails are necessary to keep me sitting, affixed to my chair here for several hours. Otherwise, my will power would waffle and I'd surely find an excuse to leave.

It occurs to me that my physical surroundings are beyond expressions of the mental. They exist as their own element, and that explains why I want to feel them, experience my world physically. We are here, now, in these bodies feeling, emoting, enjoying chocolate tea, a kiss or the touch of the pen to the page, or the finger to the key board, grounded, solid, as all of this. We do not exist as disembodied beings.

Today I remember to move through my physical environment deliberately, slowly. The images we picture in our mind's eye are physical, and they are real. It's fun to be here, now like this.

(Painting entitled "Two Coyotes Howling at the Moon" by Pat Olchefski-Winston.

Amazing, Curative

I was harboring huge, uncontrollable feelings of resentment last night. Everything was bothering me; it felt like my immediate family was forcing me to attend events against my will, that my school was making unfair demands, and even the friend who called to remind me he misses me at yoga class seemed to be pushing and prodding in an annoying manner.

I was tired. It helps when you feel resentment to remember you could just be tired. The remnants of the resentment were still with me this morning so I sat down to meditate, just for a few minutes. And then it happened. All the resentment lifted instantaneously, at once! It really was like the window of my mind's eye was muddy, and the meditation wiped it clean in less than any "time" at all.

Then, I remembered that my husband, Layton, actually grew bananas, lots of them, in our backyard, and that thought made everything okay. (Here is a picture of Layton and his banana trees.)

Teaching Security

Whenever loads of worries rush through my mind it's helpful to remember the truth: that everything, including myself, is already perfect, that I can rest in the security of that knowledge.

A skilled teacher brings us to the point of realizing the truth of our own perfection; he or she instills a desire to please, but leads us to ultimately function on our own - strong, at the same time as we admire him or her. A good teacher models perfect love, granting us the freedom to make mistakes without the fear of abandonment. A good teacher is with us always.






We fear abandonment only because we misunderstand the situation - the approval is always there. Yet we are so afraid of making a mistake, and then being rejected. A good teacher will never reject us. Part of our development comes with the realization that the teacher is our mind, in, as us - Big Mind - the guide was always our own mind to start. So we can never be abandoned.

Indelible Being

Remember today that you are indelible.

More than memory - remember that all that ever was, all that ever will be, and all that is, comes to complete fruition as you right now!

(The photograph is Thomas Wolfe's typewriter. He "died" of tubercular cysts in his head at the age of 38...)

Receptive

Be receptive to the idea of healing in Japan.

Be receptive to the idea of healing everywhere.


The first photograph is of the sculpture in the park in Asheville, followed by a picture of Yann Martel, the author of Life of Pi with me. Next is a shot of my teacher Erich Schiffmann and me at Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana (that's Anne Jablonski's head at the side.) Finally there is a picture of Sandy Jones and me in Asheville.

OM

Book Signing at Malaprops in Asheville

All the photos were taken by Sandy Jones. Asheville is indeed a remarkable spot on the planet.

Pure Potential

It's time to let go of the constraints of repetition and become the essence of Truth through spontaneous expression.

We are affected by our thoughts - or in active voice, as my husband insists - our thoughts do affect us. It's time to watch what we let run through our minds, and notice how we react to them.

Asheville is a fun place so far. I can watch the comings and goings of downtown from my hotel room, and there is such an upbeat energy about this place. I'm happy to be here.

Headed to Asheville and Malaprops...

Looking forward to meeting lots of folks I chat with on line in Asheville at Malaprops this Thursday night!

Keep Doing It!

The office where my husband works caught fire this weekend. The dentist who works next to him found his entire work space covered in ashes. The blaze fortunately stopped at my husband's door; now it is simply a matter of getting the ashes cleaned, airing out the smokey smell, and turning on the water and power in the building when it is all declared safe again.

No one knows how the fire started. It simply blew in and ignited the building quickly. On the prayer flags we hang every summer in Montana there is the image of the wind horse. The wind horse reminds us of the constant change of being, the impermanence of all things. In other words, stuff doesn't ever stay static - by the very nature of it's existence it's always in flux.

No matter what blows in, or ignites, or shakes up, it's helpful to find a quiet, lovely place and notice all of it, what's happening, the constant movement that is self. It's easy to fall back onto stale routines, conditioning, and distractions and forget to notice the truth, the constant movement behind it all. There's nothing like a brusque wind, or even a fire or earthquake to rattle us all out of our mechanized habits.

It seems impossible at first, to pull away from conditioned distractions, but the hardest part is really just remembering to do it - to sit down and notice what's going on in the first place.. Then it's obvious what's happening, with or without the fire. It becomes so obvious it's beyond easy to see.

...and every so often the wind horse blows through to remind us.

What Do These Authors Have in Common?

They all have resided in or near Asheville, NC!

Can you name them?

Book Signing in Asheville

For Today...

...remembering that there are infinite possiblities because I am Infinite...

more coming soon...

Signing Books in Asheville on March 10

... at Malaprops Bookstore at 7 pm.

Looking forward to meeting lots of my friends from the Carolinas then...

Receptivity

I don't know why I get confused so often over what to do and who to do it with. (Yes that's a dangling preposition...)

I want to be receptive to what's real, what's actually happening, but the control freak, the willful part of me wants to decide what's real myself (impossible of course,) and plan it on a calendar (comical, I know.) Hence my calendar consists of scribbles and cross-outs as I continuously change my mind about what I want to happen in the very imaginary future. So I create my own distractions, my own constant prattle to keep my mind from hooking into the truth.

To be receptive means to be open and expansive, to move beyond the construct of the calendar right into the point where my perception can shift from fear into a space of beaming love. The reality is we're all here, all the time, because there's no where else to go anyway. So it makes sense to rev up the light, move into a space of literal empathy for ourselves and everyone else, and enjoy what's happening as it happens. That beats trying to plan it all out in advance like a crazy person every time.

Talking to a Friend about Lazarus

I was talking to a friend this morning about the situation with Lazarus. It's one of the basic miracles - that Lazarus was dead, rotting actually, and Jesus "cured" him, bringing him back to life. My friend thinks it's all mental - our perceptions of what's happening here, and therefore there really isn't a solid reality.

I suspect my friend's right about the mental part - yes, there are charlatans out there claiming they can perform hands on and other types of miraculous healing, and yes, James Randi and other skeptics perform a great service when they unmask that sort of fraud. But the existence of the frauds out there doesn't negate that spontaneous "healing" is possible. And I beg to differ with my friend - the fact that people are wandering around deluded doesn't negate that reality exists.

Reality exists. I think the way Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead was by seeing that reality in all of its perfection, by looking beyond the illusion of the rotting body to see Lazarus as he always was - the perfect man. "And behold I saw the perfect man." What looks like healing is a dropping off of all illusions.

Then it would be possible to walk on water, walk through walls, defy the laws of gravity, and heal everyone, starting with ourselves - not from the perspective a deluded, pretend state, but from a point of true grounding in what actually is and always has been.

At least I want to entertain the idea of that reality for today - hold that possibility in mind and celebrate it.

The Law of Abundance - Again!

I've been crazy busy the past week; it feels like there isn't even time to wash my hair - never mind the dishes. It's helpful this morning to remind myself that the rushed feeling is entirely self-imposed. There is never a point in any of our actions and activities when we aren't making a choice. The trick is stay conscious, to remember that we are the ones doing it to ourselves.

There is no need to sacrifice anything, particularly not our peace of mind. An abundance of of time, money, health and love surrounds us. We just need to stop, remember, and breathe.

(The bird's nest was at Feathered Pipe Ranch last summer. The mother bird doesn't seem too worried about time or where she will get her next meal for the chicks. It's all right there for her.)

Gratitude and Releasing Control: Of Car and Body

I'm one of those people who go into denial when faced with medical issues; I show up at the doctor's office only when a situation becomes intolerable. By intolerable I mean the pain has to be excruciating, the condition has to completely interfere with work, play and writing, in other words I show up to my wonderful doctor when I can't stand it anymore.

The same goes for mechanical difficulties: I replace the clothes washer when it floods the kitchen, I service the car when it flat-out stops. My high levels of denial correspond with my lack of ability to recognize that I am not the one in control of everything all the time. Admitting lack of control demands a release into what is that I find scary and disabling. Needless to say, this "control freak" attitude can cause havoc in personal relationships too; if my darling husband would rather catalog birds and grow bananas than delve into the mysteries of meditation and prayer with me I tend to take it as a personal challenge. The universe finds my "I'm the one in charge" attitude amusing to be sure; things always come around to reminding me as to the truth - that I am a dependent entity on those around me - that at times I need the help of doctors, car mechanics, plumbers and neighbors to feel my best, that I can't make my husband study the hidden implications of prayer any more than he can give me a huge charge out of bird watching.

Controlling what happens is never the issue. Allowing for the revelation in what is happening and learning to release into all of it the key. Joy comes from observing the happenings, and accepting them in all of their totality. Then, the miracles all around us become more than apparent - the miracle that is inherent in living, the miracle of every breath we have the honor of taking, the miracle of our inter-dependence. When we approach out being with a sense of that awe and gratitude for all of it, we can see ourselves as beyond all limits, even the limits of our need to control.

Significant, Instantaneous "Yes"

Erich Schiffmann leads free form tonight in Santa Monica and that is always so much fun. This time there will be live music, so the level of joy coming out of the place should be amplified even louder.

Life is here, right now and it's a blast to get that sense of innocence from doing yoga and moving with other people doing the same thing. The time spent hanging out with others of like mind that way is so significant - like instantaneous healing is not only possible, but here, now.

It's three in the morning or something like that in LA. Back for sleep - and remembering to blast that instantaneous "yes" all over the place all day tomorrow.

Revelations

It's quiet now, the middle of the night in Los Angeles. The day has been rushed, with an element of the "out of control" about it. Even if I wanted to plan it, the unexpected jerk of my car as it malfunctioned yet one more time, the surprise e-mail from a long lost cousin, the surprise interaction with a police officer who looked suspiciously like another dear cousin of mine, a retired police captain herself, (yes, I ran a stop sign folks, but my car was lurching around when it happened,) and then the discovery that I can't plan any of what happens, not really. There is a sense now that the activity has ceased, that maybe everything earlier was happening, is still happening all at once.

All the evidence around us points to the fact that life is continuous. The revelation becomes a matter of us seeing all of it, constant, like the story of Michelangelo seeing forms in slabs of rock and then carving out the excess to reveal what was already there. Revelation becomes the uncovering of what has always been - the unveiling of what is - from the pieces of rocks surrounding it.

So now that every one's calmed down in my house, I'm going to remember to look for the revelatory in what happens, even if its a dream I might have when I manage to get to sleep, and especially if it comes in the form of the helpful, (possibly disguised at first,) face of a police officer or a car mechanic or a doctor or a fellow teacher or a cousin or my immediate family. In the midst of the noise, the rushing, those faces are always there. It's time to look for the evidence of them, at the revelations in what is ordinary because that is what is here anyway - all the time.

Glitches - Remembering to Listen

Lots of stuff went seemingly wrong this week: computer connections kept going out, medical problems cropped up from the past, people I work with put up barriers to my plans, and the cherry on top was a computer training session I found myself in for a hand-held teaching device called the "Mobi." If you ever want to feel incompetent learn a new technology with a room of twenty-year olds; I got to experience first hand how my own students must feel when I throw material at them too fast. And then there was the whole business of the shootings in Arizona; I read in the Los Angeles Times that the man accused was into "lucid dreaming." I looked "lucid dreaming" up on Wikipedia and found that it means having control over what happens in one's dreams; I would like to have control of my dream images. Does that mean I'm on the same mental wavelength as the assassin? Added background to all these glitches was an an affecting book I read this week about Jewish children rounded into camps during World War II in Paris: Sarah's Key.

So I woke today with lots of questions: obviously computer connection problems are not on par with the Nazis or the shootings in Tuscon. Those occurrences seem enough to make a person paranoid - enough to make anyone clutch and grub for what belongs to them because it is possible for tragedy to strike at any time.

This morning I decided to sit still, listen, and be willing to hear the truth about what is occurring. I am reminded that the truth is always with us no matter what set backs may occur. We can sit with the truth at any time by definition of who we are - alive, part of being. Every breath we take confirms that fact of our aliveness.

When it seems that doors are closing and something shuts down, we can always hook into a sense of renewal. And that reality confirms that our soul is indomitable, that there is a resilience to truth that can never be defeated. The truth sits with us during what may appear to be our darkest hour, through what may seem to be frustrating or down right evil. It helps to remember the evidence, that there is constant renewal happening in us, as us, with every movement, color, sound, that proves our existence, that shifts our perception back to what is real.

Lighten Up

I've been told to write shorter, lighter entries. This photograph of light was taken by my friend Anne Jablonski at Feathered Pipe Ranch.

So today I'm writing about light and how it feels to lighten up. The reason I turn in desperation to all of my "little" addictions (they are of course "little" because they are fake) is how weighted down I often get by what I perceive as external expectations and demands. The big epiphany here is that nothing is external; the only weight - guilt, fear, burden - comes from my own head!

Lots of us talk about "out of body experiences," floating around outside ourselves when the pain of all that self-imposed weight gets too heavy, but the truth is that we are never "out" of our bodies. We do however, have the capacity to expand our awareness into a larger physical and mental space. The Truth is here, undeniable; and when we yearn for anything else, it is because we are missing the force of that life, the joy that is always in us right now. When we are weighted down by burdens and false obligations we don't feel that reality.

It's time to give up the perceived weight over to Truth, to let Truth carry us straight into the heart of love.

Today I remember to be light - to allow myself to expand and illuminate the full body of who I am. As light I can acknowledge the full extent of myself.

A Gentle Reminder...

Be Love, and see what happens. Let go of wants and desires and arguments and silly hypotheticals about dark alleys and lack of food and not having enough, and turn straight toward unadulterated, unfiltered Love just for a bit, just for a moment, just for as long as you can stand and see where it leads, see what happens.

Don’t push it. The Love Being can’t be pushed. Don’t demand it. Understanding it doesn’t work on demand. Don’t lean on metaphysical concepts because they seem metaphysical or exciting or odd or because you think they’ll make you special. Don’t think at all – if only for a moment. Just BE LOVE and see what happens.

Can we be Love for a day, a minute, a second? A second’s not so long, but a second is plenty long enough.

Let go of struggling with being the student, the mother, the teacher, the lover, the flirt, the healer, the intellect, and just Be. For a second. We’re ready to see what happens.

It may feel odd at first but that is because you do not want what you think you want. You have everything you need for what you truly are and then some! There is no lack.

Do you imagine you need attention or food or fame or acknowledgements here and everywhere, that you are special? Your ego demands to be fed because that is how it functions, because those aspects of Being are a very pleasurable part of the fun. But don’t grapple for them, cling to them. The grapple makes them fade.

Am I Jesus? Am I Moses, or John Lennon, or Neil Young? Did Joseph Smith get special revelations? Ordinary revelations are what we are talking here. Nothing strange or off the wall. Nothing elevating because you are already elevated. No extra tumble in the hay that will be better than any other tumble that you are already tumbling through here, now.

You are already in it; just turn to it, just be it, just realize it. Just for a moment. Come back to Love. Let that be it for today. Be Raw Love. Let go of everything else and watch what happens.