An ongoing conflict in my house has always been where we are spending the Thanksgiving Holiday. Traditionally my mother-in-law flies down from Seattle and my sister-in-law, a skilled cook, (cooking for lots of other people is something I myself find terrifying - I might poison them all, but that is another entry,) my sister-in-law cooks a family meal. My parents who live in Arizona, like to spend the holiday in Las Vegas, watching shows, gambling, and eating at a buffet prepared by someone else.
Did I mention this conflict is silly? It's silly. Every year I angst over where my husband, daughter and I should go. It becomes a family battle field. All sorts of moral issues come into play: issues about family loyalty; the Joy or lack of joy of the holidays; and past dramas from my childhood. All this "stuff" rears its heretofore hidden head - stuff like when I was growing up my mother always went to her sister-in-law's house against her will, and on and on blah, blah, blah.
The holiday becomes a fight. Until the day I decided to stop making the conflict a battle front. I wish I could tell you it involved a complicated and extreme shift in every one's perceptions of the issue. Fortunately that isn't the case. The end of the Thanksgiving struggle happened in about 3 seconds this year, (the fight usually starts around September,) and it happened inside me. I woke up and decided not to make it a battle field any more. The conflict went away - just like that - with that small shift in my own perception. Any internal churning just melted, for real, quickly, easily. It occurs to me my family's Thanksgiving conflict has always been internal; it takes place inside me even though it involves lots of other people.
All conflicts are silly that way. The trick is to stop inventing battle fields and then refusing to budge. It's a big relief to let conflict go. I know, (I'm Italian, afterall,) there's a certain appeal to getting loud and passionate about stuff - the common word for it is "drama." I teach drama; drama can be fun and it turns on conflict. But it's just pretend. There's not much point in spinning in it after the curtain closes.
Walking away from conflict may feel like an impossibility when you are embroiled in the depths of it - but conflict is always self-generated. The external violence, be it physical or psychological, is always a manifestation of that internal toil. Getting over it, out of the self generated drama, means releasing the internal struggle. Over any issue. Any time.
Then, from any given moment we can return to the larger goal, the only goal, aligning ourselves with what is real, surrendering our self-made "battle fields" to that.
Today I remind myself to surrender to my inner awareness of Truth. I turn from drama to fulfillment.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Connections
Sometimes in the flurry of daily activities we can become confused about what's real. We let ourselves rush from one project to the next - car maintenance, shopping, childcare, preparation after preparation until we are exhausted and out of touch with the point of it all. When we're trapped in that loop of endless running around to get no where, we become accusatory and suspicious of others. What am I fixing the kids for breakfast, when is there even time for breakfast, I'm so tired, become internal mantras that work like a smoke screen against our own clarity, blocking us from the truth.
The truth is we are loved from every angle. We just don't realize it, don't appreciate it until we settle down and allow ourselves to connect with the love that's there, real, always available to us. When open ourselves to the connections around us, we feel the great depth of this love.
The Internet can be an amazing tool for connections to our world, to everyone who is there. The trick is to remain focused on what is real, and to be honest about what is happening. Then we feel the connections, the love from every angle, whether or not we turn on the computer.
I don't know why we all shift to rushing around mode when we are inundated by love as we are. We have a fear of honesty because we think it will be brutal. The only brutal thing about honesty is the denial of its existence. The key is to remain receptive, to open our minds to the connections between us and everyone else whether or not we turn on a computer.
Receptive and Connected... I remind myself to stay that way today.
The truth is we are loved from every angle. We just don't realize it, don't appreciate it until we settle down and allow ourselves to connect with the love that's there, real, always available to us. When open ourselves to the connections around us, we feel the great depth of this love.
The Internet can be an amazing tool for connections to our world, to everyone who is there. The trick is to remain focused on what is real, and to be honest about what is happening. Then we feel the connections, the love from every angle, whether or not we turn on the computer.
I don't know why we all shift to rushing around mode when we are inundated by love as we are. We have a fear of honesty because we think it will be brutal. The only brutal thing about honesty is the denial of its existence. The key is to remain receptive, to open our minds to the connections between us and everyone else whether or not we turn on a computer.
Receptive and Connected... I remind myself to stay that way today.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Gratitude, Being, Love
Let me face this day with gratitude.
Let me face this day with being.
Let me face this day with love.
Now...
Now...
Now...
And this poem by e.e. cummings is soooo lovely and relevant:
I Carry Your Heart With Me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Edward Estlin Cummings
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-carry-your-heart-with-me-2/
Let me face this day with being.
Let me face this day with love.
Now...
Now...
Now...
And this poem by e.e. cummings is soooo lovely and relevant:
I Carry Your Heart With Me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Edward Estlin Cummings
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-carry-your-heart-with-me-2/
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Unlimited Layers of Healing - OM
Today is the day to release illusions about what is happening, to let go of conflict, ambition, motivation and to turn ourselves over to complete healing.
Healing comes on unlimited layers of our being, it occurs beyond the illusion of time and space. When we allow healing we remember that we are adequate, that our resources our adequate. Healing happens when we recognize that we are sufficient, full, complete and capable as we are.
"And I beheld the perfect man," I think that comes from the Bible somewhere. I think Jesus said that. I wouldn't be surprised if he said that around where he raised Lazarus from the dead.
It can be confusing, the whole healing concept. It can seem pretend, wishful thinking, especially from the vantage point of this solid world - structures of form that follow the laws of physics. OM is ultimately an ecumenical word, it implies that we extend beyond our current perceptions into all of the all; Om is the connection of form to Eternity.
We can't be independent from one another, not in terms of separation. Our interconnectedness does not imply neediness. In fact, neediness, or clinging to our own delusions of other people negates love. True love exists without expectation or demand from some "other." I'm talking about purity. Purity of being, om, allows healing.
Today I see my experiences in the physical world not as attachments but as confirmations. Today I realize the endless, the eternal in all of us. I watch my every movement in this space today, every sound, every sigh I may make. I remember the multiple layers of being, and I move slowly.
Today I catch my own affectiveness (I know that's not a word,) - I say "affectiveness" because I/we affect the all from an unlimited array of possibilities. Today I remember the unlimited layers, and I dedicate all of it to what is real.
Healing comes on unlimited layers of our being, it occurs beyond the illusion of time and space. When we allow healing we remember that we are adequate, that our resources our adequate. Healing happens when we recognize that we are sufficient, full, complete and capable as we are.
"And I beheld the perfect man," I think that comes from the Bible somewhere. I think Jesus said that. I wouldn't be surprised if he said that around where he raised Lazarus from the dead.
It can be confusing, the whole healing concept. It can seem pretend, wishful thinking, especially from the vantage point of this solid world - structures of form that follow the laws of physics. OM is ultimately an ecumenical word, it implies that we extend beyond our current perceptions into all of the all; Om is the connection of form to Eternity.
We can't be independent from one another, not in terms of separation. Our interconnectedness does not imply neediness. In fact, neediness, or clinging to our own delusions of other people negates love. True love exists without expectation or demand from some "other." I'm talking about purity. Purity of being, om, allows healing.
Today I see my experiences in the physical world not as attachments but as confirmations. Today I realize the endless, the eternal in all of us. I watch my every movement in this space today, every sound, every sigh I may make. I remember the multiple layers of being, and I move slowly.
Today I catch my own affectiveness (I know that's not a word,) - I say "affectiveness" because I/we affect the all from an unlimited array of possibilities. Today I remember the unlimited layers, and I dedicate all of it to what is real.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Fear
Today I joined the forces of teachers preparing to get classrooms ready for the fall. School budgets are tighter than ever: copies are counted on our Xerox machines for fear of running low on paper; programs that matter to kids, programs that kept me from turning off to school like drama and music are in jeopardy of being cut; and health insurance costs are higher than ever. In my district there was no choice for our administration but to pass those higher health insurance premiums on to the teachers.
I am not choosing to write on the topic of school budgets or health insurance to get political. I bring up these topics because they emphasize the insidious role that fear can play in our existence. The fear on the faces of many of my friends and colleagues today reminded me how its poison spreads, how it can affect how we all interact, and how it can lead to self fulfilling prophesies about our capabilities.
I notice myself interacting differently with those closest to me when I am afraid. There are those to whom I unload all my fears. One person in particular is my teacher; he is expert at deflecting my worries. After interacting with him I always get this sense that everything will be okay. "That's okay" is a mantra I take from him often, and often it works. The problem is, when I interact with my teacher and others too often that way, I feel clingy, needy, as though I am dependent on someone outside myself to deflect fear by telling me it's all okay.
There are others I love and respect who tend to reflect my fears right back at me. To them I am prone to venting, and watching them vent right back at me. Our interactions become one big worry fest. Sometimes this type of wallowing works like a temporary salve; more often though it spins out of control - into anger, despair, and a paralysis even scarier than the original seed of fear itself.
My heart is a valuable asset. I don't want it torn asunder for nothing. And fear is ultimately nothing. The fear itself is not okay. What is required is neither someone else to deflect it, nor someone to bounce it back at me like a mirror. What is required is to look the fear in the eye, and recognize it as nothing but a mental gyration. What is required is to be proactive against fear with a subtle shift in perception that allows me to take the steps - always easier than they originally appear - to stop spinning off of fear and to breathe right into the reality that will allow me to transcend it. When I do that I can help everyone, all those who are beloved around me, let go of their illusions of being alone and powerless. Then we can all flow appropriately moment by moment, calm deliberate and clear.
Today I let my heart be held by the calm that is real. Today I dissolve fear.
I am not choosing to write on the topic of school budgets or health insurance to get political. I bring up these topics because they emphasize the insidious role that fear can play in our existence. The fear on the faces of many of my friends and colleagues today reminded me how its poison spreads, how it can affect how we all interact, and how it can lead to self fulfilling prophesies about our capabilities.
I notice myself interacting differently with those closest to me when I am afraid. There are those to whom I unload all my fears. One person in particular is my teacher; he is expert at deflecting my worries. After interacting with him I always get this sense that everything will be okay. "That's okay" is a mantra I take from him often, and often it works. The problem is, when I interact with my teacher and others too often that way, I feel clingy, needy, as though I am dependent on someone outside myself to deflect fear by telling me it's all okay.
There are others I love and respect who tend to reflect my fears right back at me. To them I am prone to venting, and watching them vent right back at me. Our interactions become one big worry fest. Sometimes this type of wallowing works like a temporary salve; more often though it spins out of control - into anger, despair, and a paralysis even scarier than the original seed of fear itself.
My heart is a valuable asset. I don't want it torn asunder for nothing. And fear is ultimately nothing. The fear itself is not okay. What is required is neither someone else to deflect it, nor someone to bounce it back at me like a mirror. What is required is to look the fear in the eye, and recognize it as nothing but a mental gyration. What is required is to be proactive against fear with a subtle shift in perception that allows me to take the steps - always easier than they originally appear - to stop spinning off of fear and to breathe right into the reality that will allow me to transcend it. When I do that I can help everyone, all those who are beloved around me, let go of their illusions of being alone and powerless. Then we can all flow appropriately moment by moment, calm deliberate and clear.
Today I let my heart be held by the calm that is real. Today I dissolve fear.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Balance
A friend of mine has devised a product I just adore: Bliss Mix, www.transitionnutrition.com. The first time I tasted it I had been on a longish airplane ride to Montana, the van taking us to Feathered Pipe Ranch had not arrived, and as usual I was starving. Erich Schiffmann and his brother Karl produced this bag of the stuff, it has little nubs of raw cacao, Gojiberries, Mulberries. I loved it, but because we were all sharing it, I ate in moderation.
Later, I discovered it on the shelves of Whole Foods and now I'm a Bliss Mix fanatic. Note the word fanatic - therein lies the problem. Bliss Mix is good for you - full of organic, raw protein and fiber. Yesterday, this time quite alone, I gobbled down an entire bag of the stuff alone. I was trying to cut down on calories, I'd been fine dining, (again to excess,) with my husband on a romantic weekend in Sonoma. My idea of romance includes large amounts of coffee and wine with dinner. Do you see the pattern emerging here?
I have a history of migraine headaches; coffee can be helpful - it shrinks the swollen blood vessels, (caused sometimes by wine, chocolate, and ironically, too much coffee.) Yesterday, after the binge on the Bliss Mix, the effects of the coffee wearing off, and my instantaneous desire to "fast" I got a doozy of a migraine. My migraines aren't normal headaches - they consist of a debilitating pounding on the right side of my head, shakes and body spasms that look like a stroke, followed by vomiting like there is no tomorrow. Yesterday it all hit and I was sorry to have eaten seven servings of Bliss Mix - felt good going down. It always feels good going down.
Today its helpful to remember the importance of balance. Even stuff that feels great to an extent can hurt us, throw us off, if we over indulge. Balance is a tricky concept for me. I tend to go over board when I love something. If it's a book, I read it straight though without stopping for air and water. If it's a lover I tend to allow myself to be consumed right then. Flirting, waiting, patience: those concepts don't sit well for me. I'm realizing it may be helpful to learn to sit in the in between more moderately.
Balance leads to harmony. Today I pour patience into all I am. Today is a good time to be less concerned with the doing as the being - to float in a harmonious state with all around me instead of grating through in conflict, after some goal.
There is only shining being today - and believe me after last night I am clear. Today I allow myself balance between the here and there, the now and always.
Later, I discovered it on the shelves of Whole Foods and now I'm a Bliss Mix fanatic. Note the word fanatic - therein lies the problem. Bliss Mix is good for you - full of organic, raw protein and fiber. Yesterday, this time quite alone, I gobbled down an entire bag of the stuff alone. I was trying to cut down on calories, I'd been fine dining, (again to excess,) with my husband on a romantic weekend in Sonoma. My idea of romance includes large amounts of coffee and wine with dinner. Do you see the pattern emerging here?
I have a history of migraine headaches; coffee can be helpful - it shrinks the swollen blood vessels, (caused sometimes by wine, chocolate, and ironically, too much coffee.) Yesterday, after the binge on the Bliss Mix, the effects of the coffee wearing off, and my instantaneous desire to "fast" I got a doozy of a migraine. My migraines aren't normal headaches - they consist of a debilitating pounding on the right side of my head, shakes and body spasms that look like a stroke, followed by vomiting like there is no tomorrow. Yesterday it all hit and I was sorry to have eaten seven servings of Bliss Mix - felt good going down. It always feels good going down.
Today its helpful to remember the importance of balance. Even stuff that feels great to an extent can hurt us, throw us off, if we over indulge. Balance is a tricky concept for me. I tend to go over board when I love something. If it's a book, I read it straight though without stopping for air and water. If it's a lover I tend to allow myself to be consumed right then. Flirting, waiting, patience: those concepts don't sit well for me. I'm realizing it may be helpful to learn to sit in the in between more moderately.
Balance leads to harmony. Today I pour patience into all I am. Today is a good time to be less concerned with the doing as the being - to float in a harmonious state with all around me instead of grating through in conflict, after some goal.
There is only shining being today - and believe me after last night I am clear. Today I allow myself balance between the here and there, the now and always.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Bloom - Om Mani Padme Hum
Today I remind myself to commit to my own being, to allow myself to bloom.
Bloom sounds corny as a mantra for today, maybe not so sophisticated as
om mani padme hum - a sure fire eliminator of suffering, but just the word "bloom" works for me. It reminds me I'm worthy of being myself, that everybody and everything is worthy of being, and that when we let go of our attachment to the glamour of suffering we can realize the truth of compassion for all of what's happening.
It helps to stick with what we know; when we look around, really take the time and clear the mind and see everything as it is, we realize we're surrounded by love, pure being. It's helpful to develop a healthy respect for the being of everyone else, to see those around us, especially those that make us feel conflicted as our teachers. We can make a commitment to notice when we feel strained, tight around someone else, and to realize that that is the time to really notice them and to listen to what they may be saying.
A nice afternoon nap helps with the blooming too.
Today is good time to relax, relax, relax, to get in touch with all our teachers and to let ourselves bloom. When we bloom we catch God smiling at us.
Today I look for the smiles of creation everywhere as I move around in it.
Bloom sounds corny as a mantra for today, maybe not so sophisticated as
om mani padme hum - a sure fire eliminator of suffering, but just the word "bloom" works for me. It reminds me I'm worthy of being myself, that everybody and everything is worthy of being, and that when we let go of our attachment to the glamour of suffering we can realize the truth of compassion for all of what's happening.
It helps to stick with what we know; when we look around, really take the time and clear the mind and see everything as it is, we realize we're surrounded by love, pure being. It's helpful to develop a healthy respect for the being of everyone else, to see those around us, especially those that make us feel conflicted as our teachers. We can make a commitment to notice when we feel strained, tight around someone else, and to realize that that is the time to really notice them and to listen to what they may be saying.
A nice afternoon nap helps with the blooming too.
Today is good time to relax, relax, relax, to get in touch with all our teachers and to let ourselves bloom. When we bloom we catch God smiling at us.
Today I look for the smiles of creation everywhere as I move around in it.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Trust
Sometimes the hardest people to trust are those closest to us. We tend to be judgmental when it comes to those nearest and dearest to us; we think we know them, and we are sure from prior experience that they will act the way we habitually see them acting. Again and again we make assumptions about who they are.
Once we learn to see them from a fresh vantage point, without all the prior baggage we've piled on to their existence as pertains to us, we can "forgive" them for what ever may have happened before. We can approach them from the innocent perspective from someone seeing them for the first time, clean, and then we can be with them simply, as they truly are. It's not a matter of "doing our best" around them, seeing them. Once trust occurs it's not a matter of "doing" with those around us at all.
Once trust occurs we can enter a state of pure being. That being is the heart of true innocence - and that comes from forgiveness, a forgiveness that is not even really necessary, a forgiveness that is the last illusion.
In the state of pure trust nothing can hurt us except our own thoughts, and those thoughts can be changed with awareness, realization of how they work to twist our perceptions of other people.
In the state of pure being in truth we realize we are love and we can just be that.
We must trust our loved ones, we must trust our teachers, we must trust those who have offended us, we must see what is real for what is is everywhere, and we must trust ourselves.
And in that instant of pure knowing, that there is no harm, only a physical experience of joy to be had, we can walk through fire, face the guillotine if need be, tread over land bombs without a scratch. When we align with being we can see ourselves in truth as immutable.
Today I trust, trust, trust in the truth of love that is real.
Once we learn to see them from a fresh vantage point, without all the prior baggage we've piled on to their existence as pertains to us, we can "forgive" them for what ever may have happened before. We can approach them from the innocent perspective from someone seeing them for the first time, clean, and then we can be with them simply, as they truly are. It's not a matter of "doing our best" around them, seeing them. Once trust occurs it's not a matter of "doing" with those around us at all.
Once trust occurs we can enter a state of pure being. That being is the heart of true innocence - and that comes from forgiveness, a forgiveness that is not even really necessary, a forgiveness that is the last illusion.
In the state of pure trust nothing can hurt us except our own thoughts, and those thoughts can be changed with awareness, realization of how they work to twist our perceptions of other people.
In the state of pure being in truth we realize we are love and we can just be that.
We must trust our loved ones, we must trust our teachers, we must trust those who have offended us, we must see what is real for what is is everywhere, and we must trust ourselves.
And in that instant of pure knowing, that there is no harm, only a physical experience of joy to be had, we can walk through fire, face the guillotine if need be, tread over land bombs without a scratch. When we align with being we can see ourselves in truth as immutable.
Today I trust, trust, trust in the truth of love that is real.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Flexibility
It's easy to confuse control with love, to think that if love is real we will be in complete control when we are in it, that those we love should do/be exactly as our ego demands. When we confuse love with control we react incorrectly, we cause other people, our Beloved Ones, to act incorrectly also. I know this from unfortunate experience. And since love and control are not the same, there is guaranteed friction when we try to control our nearest and dearest.
Being controlled, or the feeling that others are trying to manipulate us is no fun either. That sort of emotional controlling is akin to hording, and it leads to disastrous results. Love, like the air around us is abundant, unlimited and there is no need to horde it, to cling with demands to love when we feel it. It's helpful to breathe deeply, there's no need to horde the air around us either.
We live in a consumerist society. We often think that by grabbing attention, time, breath, and holding it all tight to us we'll preserve it, prevent it from running away. Being miserly like that is tight and uncomfortable. It causes literal wrinkles, aging and bitterness.
The real key to living fully, passionately, to experiencing the love around us, is in our ability to be flexible, to revel in the love that is without grabbing for it so desperately. The conundrum is we'll be able to feel it, perceive it more accurately, when we don't clench.
Today I remind myself to be flexible.
Being controlled, or the feeling that others are trying to manipulate us is no fun either. That sort of emotional controlling is akin to hording, and it leads to disastrous results. Love, like the air around us is abundant, unlimited and there is no need to horde it, to cling with demands to love when we feel it. It's helpful to breathe deeply, there's no need to horde the air around us either.
We live in a consumerist society. We often think that by grabbing attention, time, breath, and holding it all tight to us we'll preserve it, prevent it from running away. Being miserly like that is tight and uncomfortable. It causes literal wrinkles, aging and bitterness.
The real key to living fully, passionately, to experiencing the love around us, is in our ability to be flexible, to revel in the love that is without grabbing for it so desperately. The conundrum is we'll be able to feel it, perceive it more accurately, when we don't clench.
Today I remind myself to be flexible.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Compassion and Fun
It seems like a good day to lighten up and remember to have fun.
In Los Angeles it's finally sunny. It's been an unusually overcast summer here; my surfer friends are complaining - too cold to get in the water, not enough surf, too much pollution out there. Today it is paradise here - sorry to everyone battling the heat wave on the east coast - a balmy 75 degrees, deliciously sunny, an excellent day to hang out with friends in front of Whole Foods, forget our troubles and munch on Bliss mix as we debate the usefulness of added minerals in drinking water.
What I mean is sometimes the most compassionate move for the world and one's self is to lighten up and enjoy what's happening. Maybe all the angsting (is that a word?) about what to do with life - all of it: sex, love, jealousy, kids - all that confusion in trying too hard, clouds our judgment. What really draws me back is a sense of gratitude: for my present company, all those dear to me, for all the stuff growing around me including my daughter. The speed at which it's all happening negates linear time on a day like to day, and reminds me of the truth of immortality.
It takes a certain degree of bravery to let go of the constant wanting, wanting, wanting and turn to gratitude, and to realize we are perfectly ordained to be where we are now, doing exactly what we are doing, and to approach that reality of what is and who we are with compassion.
And then we can have fun with it. Today I remind myself to have fun.
In Los Angeles it's finally sunny. It's been an unusually overcast summer here; my surfer friends are complaining - too cold to get in the water, not enough surf, too much pollution out there. Today it is paradise here - sorry to everyone battling the heat wave on the east coast - a balmy 75 degrees, deliciously sunny, an excellent day to hang out with friends in front of Whole Foods, forget our troubles and munch on Bliss mix as we debate the usefulness of added minerals in drinking water.
What I mean is sometimes the most compassionate move for the world and one's self is to lighten up and enjoy what's happening. Maybe all the angsting (is that a word?) about what to do with life - all of it: sex, love, jealousy, kids - all that confusion in trying too hard, clouds our judgment. What really draws me back is a sense of gratitude: for my present company, all those dear to me, for all the stuff growing around me including my daughter. The speed at which it's all happening negates linear time on a day like to day, and reminds me of the truth of immortality.
It takes a certain degree of bravery to let go of the constant wanting, wanting, wanting and turn to gratitude, and to realize we are perfectly ordained to be where we are now, doing exactly what we are doing, and to approach that reality of what is and who we are with compassion.
And then we can have fun with it. Today I remind myself to have fun.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Fearlessness Part 3 - Transfiguration
An understanding of our own fear reactions and how they operate helps to cultivate a state of loving kindness.
When we find ourselves pulled back into illusions created by fear, it's helpful to recognize our own toxic feelings for what they are, and allow ourselves to shift away from them. Then we find ourselves transfigured into the new energy state of truth.
The first step in the process is our communion, our communication with what is real, what is actually happening. For me the link occurs when I put a pen to paper and write in my journal. For some the link comes when they are in communion with nature. The hook up can occur when we meditate or pray. Better than Time Warner, the link, the communion to our inner guide, our intuition reminds us that we are never alone, we will not be abandoned, and opens us up to the truth of what is happening.
Step two is when we allow our communion with what is real to move us beyond what we perceive in our ordinary fear state as boundaries, past any perceived suffering and pain, into a state of smooth eternity - a BIG SMOOTH where time and space as we ordinarily conceive of them are suspended. After this subtle shift in perception, in this state of smooth understanding, we realize more and more that everything is happening at once, and then the transformation, that isn't really a transformation because it is already happening, can take precedence. We can shift, easily, quicker than time, beyond fear to the mind space of what is real.
Finally, when we get to that spot we realize innumerable love, love that is a revelation and we are at peace with what is true, fearless, in a space of joy.
1. Commune; 2. The Smooth Shift; 3. Innumerable love - revealed.
We'll know we're executing the smooth shift when all fighting ceases
Today I allow the subtle, smooth shift in perspective to occur. Today I open to the loving kindness that is.
When we find ourselves pulled back into illusions created by fear, it's helpful to recognize our own toxic feelings for what they are, and allow ourselves to shift away from them. Then we find ourselves transfigured into the new energy state of truth.
The first step in the process is our communion, our communication with what is real, what is actually happening. For me the link occurs when I put a pen to paper and write in my journal. For some the link comes when they are in communion with nature. The hook up can occur when we meditate or pray. Better than Time Warner, the link, the communion to our inner guide, our intuition reminds us that we are never alone, we will not be abandoned, and opens us up to the truth of what is happening.
Step two is when we allow our communion with what is real to move us beyond what we perceive in our ordinary fear state as boundaries, past any perceived suffering and pain, into a state of smooth eternity - a BIG SMOOTH where time and space as we ordinarily conceive of them are suspended. After this subtle shift in perception, in this state of smooth understanding, we realize more and more that everything is happening at once, and then the transformation, that isn't really a transformation because it is already happening, can take precedence. We can shift, easily, quicker than time, beyond fear to the mind space of what is real.
Finally, when we get to that spot we realize innumerable love, love that is a revelation and we are at peace with what is true, fearless, in a space of joy.
1. Commune; 2. The Smooth Shift; 3. Innumerable love - revealed.
We'll know we're executing the smooth shift when all fighting ceases
Today I allow the subtle, smooth shift in perspective to occur. Today I open to the loving kindness that is.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Fearless Observer - Taming the Ego Part 2
Noticing what's really happening, the endless tirade of fake distractions that keep popping up in the mind is key to fearlessness.
It's important to be the observer and not simply walk through life in a daze. When the ego chatter becomes too loud it's impossible to see or even visualize what's real. That's when we can become baffled about what to do here and now, because we've allowed ourselves to become confused.
It's as if we've created a lie, and then come to fear it. But what isn't real in the first place is harmless. Only thoughts produced by repetitious ego chatter can harm us. It is necessary to release those thoughts to become fearless. Our fearlessness is necessary for us to be kind.
My biggest fear is a lack of funding, ending up on skid row, and bringing my family, my husband and my dear, sweet daughter there with me. Much of my own ego torture involves thoughts about how impractical I am, how useless any pursuit is that doesn't rake in immediate funds. What can I say? I went to school in the 80s. I realize starvation's not even the actual fear; my real fear is a fear of the fear itself. I want to follow the truth of what's happening, I realize my ego thoughts are poison, and yet I still find myself stumped. The only solution is to remember over and over again to sit still, and let my mind become clear.
It's easy to be fearless when every thing's clear, obvious.
It helps to remember I'm afraid of fear then, that it's all psychological. Just noticing that I'm so afraid of letting everyone else down, especially the truth, really does make the fear dissipate. That and a strong "Begone!" in its direction.
Today I say "Begone!" to the fear that would twist my love for those precious to me into something defensive. Today I'll stop spinning and start noticing what is really happening.
The mantra for today is RELAX and be the observer - a fearless observer. And that feels pretty good.
It's important to be the observer and not simply walk through life in a daze. When the ego chatter becomes too loud it's impossible to see or even visualize what's real. That's when we can become baffled about what to do here and now, because we've allowed ourselves to become confused.
It's as if we've created a lie, and then come to fear it. But what isn't real in the first place is harmless. Only thoughts produced by repetitious ego chatter can harm us. It is necessary to release those thoughts to become fearless. Our fearlessness is necessary for us to be kind.
My biggest fear is a lack of funding, ending up on skid row, and bringing my family, my husband and my dear, sweet daughter there with me. Much of my own ego torture involves thoughts about how impractical I am, how useless any pursuit is that doesn't rake in immediate funds. What can I say? I went to school in the 80s. I realize starvation's not even the actual fear; my real fear is a fear of the fear itself. I want to follow the truth of what's happening, I realize my ego thoughts are poison, and yet I still find myself stumped. The only solution is to remember over and over again to sit still, and let my mind become clear.
It's easy to be fearless when every thing's clear, obvious.
It helps to remember I'm afraid of fear then, that it's all psychological. Just noticing that I'm so afraid of letting everyone else down, especially the truth, really does make the fear dissipate. That and a strong "Begone!" in its direction.
Today I say "Begone!" to the fear that would twist my love for those precious to me into something defensive. Today I'll stop spinning and start noticing what is really happening.
The mantra for today is RELAX and be the observer - a fearless observer. And that feels pretty good.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Humility - Breathing Past Ego
Today I remember to be humble. That's when it becomes possible to let go, either learn to fly or let myself be cradled and carried by angels.
I know it's corny to refer to angels. It takes even more guts to admit that we might need some help in aligning ourselves to what's happening here and now. Letting go can be super scary, and the fear response, to the prompt to release, let go into the holy now, is to contract, hang on for dear life. After all angels aren't really real, are they? Flying is impossible, so it's often easier to hang onto our vanity and stay up tight.
It takes a certain amount of humility to be open and brave about what is happening around us. The ego is very afraid of what it cannot control, even and especially of our own success. If we succeed we may discover we don't need it. The ego craves accolades, yes, but not in the positive aspect of our fulfillment. When we become who we really are the ego hears its death toll. After all, ego is the anathema to what is real, and so it puts up smoke screens - and it has an endless supply of those. Once you figure it out, "oh that's my ego kicking in there, trying to hold me to a set schedule," it will simply roll out new distractions.
The closer we get to completion, to a full understanding of what is happening and who we are, the more adamant the ego becomes with its devices against us. The key to our survival is recognition then; we can laugh at the ego's devices, recognize them over and over for what they are, and then allow ourselves to be humbled before the reality that will exalt us, before the angels who will catch us and teach us to fly.
We will stop being trapped then, stop running around in circles once we recognize the circles of ego for what they are. We have a choice. We can be humble and we can be brave.
Today I remind myself that what is not real can never hurt me. Today I remember humility, to breathe and open up to what's real, to accept that recognition.
I know it's corny to refer to angels. It takes even more guts to admit that we might need some help in aligning ourselves to what's happening here and now. Letting go can be super scary, and the fear response, to the prompt to release, let go into the holy now, is to contract, hang on for dear life. After all angels aren't really real, are they? Flying is impossible, so it's often easier to hang onto our vanity and stay up tight.
It takes a certain amount of humility to be open and brave about what is happening around us. The ego is very afraid of what it cannot control, even and especially of our own success. If we succeed we may discover we don't need it. The ego craves accolades, yes, but not in the positive aspect of our fulfillment. When we become who we really are the ego hears its death toll. After all, ego is the anathema to what is real, and so it puts up smoke screens - and it has an endless supply of those. Once you figure it out, "oh that's my ego kicking in there, trying to hold me to a set schedule," it will simply roll out new distractions.
The closer we get to completion, to a full understanding of what is happening and who we are, the more adamant the ego becomes with its devices against us. The key to our survival is recognition then; we can laugh at the ego's devices, recognize them over and over for what they are, and then allow ourselves to be humbled before the reality that will exalt us, before the angels who will catch us and teach us to fly.
We will stop being trapped then, stop running around in circles once we recognize the circles of ego for what they are. We have a choice. We can be humble and we can be brave.
Today I remind myself that what is not real can never hurt me. Today I remember humility, to breathe and open up to what's real, to accept that recognition.
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