Today I remind myself to Just Be Love - open and accepting of my daughter and my self.
She is fifteen and already a diva. Earlier in the year we quarreled so adamently, living in close quarters in our small house as to make me consider moving to an apartment for the next three years; the space was simply too small for the both of us. My soft spoken husband was caught in between this battle of strong female will, both of us creating: me with my writing, her with her music. I always thought my background in yoga would make it obvious, easy to raise a young woman with love. Her attitude then was the ultimate test: she could pick out and expose my weaknesses as a person and a woman faster than anyone. I was constantly being asked to relinquish control, and I found that near impossible.
And then she was flat on her back, in pain, in the hospital, and there was literally nothing I could do about it. I was forced to realize my daughter's own expression of her individuality - in terms of her pain, her physical issue that were beyond my control. I let go then, and when she came out of emergency surgery, alive and smiling our relationship entered a new phase.
We still have the normal generational arguments - she tells me I wear "hippie clothes" and knows she can melt me into giving her practically anything in my power with the word "mommy" and a certain look she gives me with her large, brown eyes. But we've enterd a phase where there's a new respect between us; I've learned to not take up so much space with my dramatic interpretations of life that irritate her so much, (she will be annoyed by today's blog most likely.) She seems easier on me when I push less. I'm realizing how quickly our time together as mother and teen aged daughter is passing. I'm trying to appreciate it for what it is: we enjoy movies, books and tea together. I know that's a relationship based mainly on food, and literary analysis. She's informed me repeatedly she will never major in English and be a writer, and I've learned to be okay with that, to accept her as the scientist with a penchant for singing, her, the her that she is, and that is still developing.
Sometimes when we are together I look at her in complete awe, as the mini-diva she is, her own diva, her own self. She's realizing her own power in being a woman, and that is a miracle.
I'm letting go, letting go, letting go...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Creativity
Sometimes we may feel blocked, and that is usually when we are being too hard on ourselves. We work too hard and choose to block the flow of what's happening. Harshness against self leads to more harshness, and we block the creation all around us.
That's when it helps to get clear about the happenings around us and keep our perception of all that simple, not bogged down by lots of excess mental nonsense. These procrastinating smoke screens often come in the form of fear; we are afraid of our own success!
Today is a good time to acknowledge the Divine everywhere, to abandon old pre-conditioned patterns of negativity and to let ourselves create.
Today I participate in the dance of life. Today I allow creation.
That's when it helps to get clear about the happenings around us and keep our perception of all that simple, not bogged down by lots of excess mental nonsense. These procrastinating smoke screens often come in the form of fear; we are afraid of our own success!
Today is a good time to acknowledge the Divine everywhere, to abandon old pre-conditioned patterns of negativity and to let ourselves create.
Today I participate in the dance of life. Today I allow creation.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Acceptance Part 3 - Gifts
Yesterday a new friend on Facebook from Australia sent me a gift, this wonderful meditation on anger and relaxation. Facebook overwhelms me at times - there are so many people and so much information as to be mind boggling. This particular meditation was apropos because at the time I was angry, miffed to be more precise at someone darling and precious to me.
When I decided to accept this particular gift, and listen to the you tube, my initial attitude was one of resistance. I thought: "oh, I'll just listen to this thing for a bit, because it's not that long." The woman's voice on the video is soothing, and very quickly, this short video helped me to dissipate my angry feelings toward my beloved. I can't recommend this you tube enough:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me2YTUGirNs
Relaxation (Guided Meditation) @ Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me2YTUGirNs
So the point for today is to continue to receive the gifts that keep coming at us, and to let them give us joy, even though the gifts may not have been our idea to start.
There have been many gifts that have "appeared" recently: a piano from neighbors across the street at exactly the moment my daughter decided she wanted to play one, (that piano has provided hours of comfort to my very musical teenager who needs somewhere, somehow to vent her inner feelings,) a cat who showed up and offered our familiy unconditional love in exchange for turkey and a trip to the vets, recently my daughter bought me an unsolicited I-Pod for Mother's Day. I still haven't gotten into the hang of using it - it wasn't my idea - but hey, I can accept it, and know, guess it's time for me to use an I-Pod.
My friend sent me this photograph of India and VJay when they were younger. They remind me of Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana, a place on the planet so precious to me as to be unparalleled.
In this photograph the presence of these two powerful women is the gift - their eyes are beautiful and intense, they are undeniable, they are here.
Today I remember to accept the gifts that come my way.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Acceptance Part 2 - Infinite Possiblities
When I accept what is happening in all it's lovely reality I realize that physical love can be all inclusive, that the connection includes everyone, and contains
INFINITE POSSIBLITIES.
That infinity is by definition a love force that goes on forever. I'm not quite sure how that realization ties with the challenges of marriage on a day to day basis, but it helps me to see and accept love for what it is: an adventure that never ends, and even when we are away from our beloved ones our adventure with them can never be over. The adventure is on going. I'm reminded of the theme of the film "Up."
There's no reason to feel guilt for our life impulses, for our expressions of the larger merging. Rather it is important to accept our life energy as it is, and to realize that when we try to regulate and control our being we are exterting false control. It's exhausting because it is an inherently false expression of what is happening - so it is incorrect, an error, a denial, a delusion about what is real. That's why if you "break up" with someone, if you suffer - that suffering can't be real, it's just a temporary wallowing in delusion.
It's impossible to "break up" with What Is anyways, and What Is is everything, everywhere. By virtue of Being, we cannot be alone, because of the Infinite Possiblities always there. There's really no reason to be frightened of that potential, because so long as it's in alignment with what's real, it can't hurt anybody. It's helpful to steer away from deluded images of other people and myself, to get my false self out of the way and not make assumptions.
Today I celebrate acceptance.
INFINITE POSSIBLITIES.
That infinity is by definition a love force that goes on forever. I'm not quite sure how that realization ties with the challenges of marriage on a day to day basis, but it helps me to see and accept love for what it is: an adventure that never ends, and even when we are away from our beloved ones our adventure with them can never be over. The adventure is on going. I'm reminded of the theme of the film "Up."
There's no reason to feel guilt for our life impulses, for our expressions of the larger merging. Rather it is important to accept our life energy as it is, and to realize that when we try to regulate and control our being we are exterting false control. It's exhausting because it is an inherently false expression of what is happening - so it is incorrect, an error, a denial, a delusion about what is real. That's why if you "break up" with someone, if you suffer - that suffering can't be real, it's just a temporary wallowing in delusion.
It's impossible to "break up" with What Is anyways, and What Is is everything, everywhere. By virtue of Being, we cannot be alone, because of the Infinite Possiblities always there. There's really no reason to be frightened of that potential, because so long as it's in alignment with what's real, it can't hurt anybody. It's helpful to steer away from deluded images of other people and myself, to get my false self out of the way and not make assumptions.
Today I celebrate acceptance.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Acceptance
The mantra of acceptance reminds me to let all things be exactly as they are.
Without acceptance we are living in a fantasy world, rubbing against, resisting Reality for what it is and that will hurt. Acceptance is a form of revelation. It reveals What Is in all its glory.
So "revelation" isn't something other worldly or esoteric at all; it's not a connector to God "somewhere else." Revelation is an exposing of what already is, and always has been right here, now. Heaven becomes eternal then, always here, now, and it's just a matter of awareness and then acceptance of that Reality. Seeing, letting all things be exactly as they are is the beginning of creation, starting with the facts and letting them unfold without resistance.
All things are exactly as they are and when I let myself accept that, flow with it, I find God.
Today I remember to let Reality unfold itself as it is. Today I practice acceptance.
Without acceptance we are living in a fantasy world, rubbing against, resisting Reality for what it is and that will hurt. Acceptance is a form of revelation. It reveals What Is in all its glory.
So "revelation" isn't something other worldly or esoteric at all; it's not a connector to God "somewhere else." Revelation is an exposing of what already is, and always has been right here, now. Heaven becomes eternal then, always here, now, and it's just a matter of awareness and then acceptance of that Reality. Seeing, letting all things be exactly as they are is the beginning of creation, starting with the facts and letting them unfold without resistance.
All things are exactly as they are and when I let myself accept that, flow with it, I find God.
Today I remember to let Reality unfold itself as it is. Today I practice acceptance.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Guides and Healing
Today I allow myself to heal, not just psycologically, but on a deep, psychic level.
Perfection is all around us, the what is of where we are, but we remain for the most part oblivious to that happening, because we've allowed ourselves to become distracted.
A guide is helpful in our discovery of our innate perfection, as part of the fabric, the DNA, of our being. The individual who allows himself or herself to become aware of this symbiotic connectin, that what is on the inside is on the outside, that the pupil and the teacher, the created and the creator, the observer and the observed are interwoven in a thread of being so delicate and exacting as to be infinite, stetching beyond the bounds of time and space, realize he or she is never alone.
The reality is we are not individuals, alone, at all, but ecumenical as the entire fabric of being without alienation, without any split. Currently we live as though we were split; we would deny our inner guides - the voice of Truth internalized in all of us.
The voice becomes more apparent in spaces of relaxation and silence, but ironically we drown it out in our world with loud noises, moving from task to task in an upside down experience of reality. When we stop, listen to our own internal truth, we
can hear messages of hope and comfort, our loveliness and lovingness is confirmed, and we are reminded of our ecumenical connection, the visceral synergy we have with all that is life. Listening to our inner guide is cause for great joy.
Today I remember my guide.
Perfection is all around us, the what is of where we are, but we remain for the most part oblivious to that happening, because we've allowed ourselves to become distracted.
A guide is helpful in our discovery of our innate perfection, as part of the fabric, the DNA, of our being. The individual who allows himself or herself to become aware of this symbiotic connectin, that what is on the inside is on the outside, that the pupil and the teacher, the created and the creator, the observer and the observed are interwoven in a thread of being so delicate and exacting as to be infinite, stetching beyond the bounds of time and space, realize he or she is never alone.
The reality is we are not individuals, alone, at all, but ecumenical as the entire fabric of being without alienation, without any split. Currently we live as though we were split; we would deny our inner guides - the voice of Truth internalized in all of us.
The voice becomes more apparent in spaces of relaxation and silence, but ironically we drown it out in our world with loud noises, moving from task to task in an upside down experience of reality. When we stop, listen to our own internal truth, we
can hear messages of hope and comfort, our loveliness and lovingness is confirmed, and we are reminded of our ecumenical connection, the visceral synergy we have with all that is life. Listening to our inner guide is cause for great joy.
Today I remember my guide.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Whoosh Part 2
When we let go into the "whoosh" of what's really happening we step aside, surrender our personal control needs, the whole delusion that is ego, for what is actually happening. It's pleasant to be with what's real instead of what's fake.
The good news is: what's fake can't actually hurt us. So my sister in law is a sweet well meaning individual and can never be annoying, my teenaged daughter's attitude is nothing but her excellent expression of who she is, my husband's affinity for sports is a joy because he is the love of my life, everyone around me is exactly as they should be, perfect for who they are.
And when I hook into the perfection that is already there, when I let myself flow with the whoosh of that I can become attuned to what's real and "heal" what was never broken in the first place.
If I were to break the whoosh into steps I'd say the first one is to realize the tightening in myself. The tightening is false, but I can find signs of it in my own body nonetheless: my shoulders might tense, my neck lock up, my jaw might become immobile. For lots of people they feel pain in their lower back.
The next step is to identify the source of the tightening. It's always fear based and usually it stems from a fear of abandonment.
Finally, when I realize that abandonment is impossible, by definition, by the fact that I am alive, I can pause and go for the subtle shift in perception that leads me to the whoosh. It's important to breathe at this point because breathing is the evidence of the truth of what's happening, the truth of life.
When we get a clear hit of that truth we can drop our desire to control based on our erroneous perception that there isn't enough life to go around, that love is somehow limited. It's impossible to override the Reality of what is actually happening.
By allowing ourselves to be part of it - the all of it - what's really there instead of the fear - we become the vibe for what the truth - the ecumenical nature of that reality - and in the end being that reality, being honest about it, and articulating exactly what it is as it is, is our job.
Today, I remember to "whoosh."
The good news is: what's fake can't actually hurt us. So my sister in law is a sweet well meaning individual and can never be annoying, my teenaged daughter's attitude is nothing but her excellent expression of who she is, my husband's affinity for sports is a joy because he is the love of my life, everyone around me is exactly as they should be, perfect for who they are.
And when I hook into the perfection that is already there, when I let myself flow with the whoosh of that I can become attuned to what's real and "heal" what was never broken in the first place.
If I were to break the whoosh into steps I'd say the first one is to realize the tightening in myself. The tightening is false, but I can find signs of it in my own body nonetheless: my shoulders might tense, my neck lock up, my jaw might become immobile. For lots of people they feel pain in their lower back.
The next step is to identify the source of the tightening. It's always fear based and usually it stems from a fear of abandonment.
Finally, when I realize that abandonment is impossible, by definition, by the fact that I am alive, I can pause and go for the subtle shift in perception that leads me to the whoosh. It's important to breathe at this point because breathing is the evidence of the truth of what's happening, the truth of life.
When we get a clear hit of that truth we can drop our desire to control based on our erroneous perception that there isn't enough life to go around, that love is somehow limited. It's impossible to override the Reality of what is actually happening.
By allowing ourselves to be part of it - the all of it - what's really there instead of the fear - we become the vibe for what the truth - the ecumenical nature of that reality - and in the end being that reality, being honest about it, and articulating exactly what it is as it is, is our job.
Today, I remember to "whoosh."
Friday, June 11, 2010
Whoosh
Okay, I know that's not a mantra, exactly but maybe it can be. There are certain people in my life I refer to as "darling." The word implies they are precious to me, but it hit today that if they are loved for their specific wonderfulness, everyone is precious that way. In other words, everyone is my "darling."
So with a "whoosh" I was hit by the mutual recognition of ecumenical nature of all things, everything and everyone. Joy is not exclusively on a physical level then, but extends to an all encompassing oneness with all of the brothers and sisters, the "darlings" in my periphery, and ultimately the realization is that that includes everyone and everything.
So, WHOOSH, the oneness covers all we do, whether we are eating or sleeping or holding the pen, and it's beautiful. What looks physical is actually the expression of the all encompassing oneness that extends to all that is - all being - the truth of that being, and that truth is synergy.
The synergy of being is more than a reflection. It isn't "becoming" anything; it is as it is as it is as we then understand - open, aware as it as everything.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
So with a "whoosh" I was hit by the mutual recognition of ecumenical nature of all things, everything and everyone. Joy is not exclusively on a physical level then, but extends to an all encompassing oneness with all of the brothers and sisters, the "darlings" in my periphery, and ultimately the realization is that that includes everyone and everything.
So, WHOOSH, the oneness covers all we do, whether we are eating or sleeping or holding the pen, and it's beautiful. What looks physical is actually the expression of the all encompassing oneness that extends to all that is - all being - the truth of that being, and that truth is synergy.
The synergy of being is more than a reflection. It isn't "becoming" anything; it is as it is as it is as we then understand - open, aware as it as everything.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Light
The light of eternity is all around me.
The light of everything around me reminds me that I am the exception to every rule, and that eternal love proves eternal life. I realize my love is eternal for those around me, and that with the light I can expand that love to encompass everything. I realize that love through light is powerful.
If I were a painter I'd show this concept of expanded eternity with a series of paintings about water: the first would be only a drop, the last would depict the entire ocean. Light, like water is uncontainable. Even one beam of it from the flame of one candle goes on forever.
Today I am conscious of the eternal nature of light.
The light of everything around me reminds me that I am the exception to every rule, and that eternal love proves eternal life. I realize my love is eternal for those around me, and that with the light I can expand that love to encompass everything. I realize that love through light is powerful.
If I were a painter I'd show this concept of expanded eternity with a series of paintings about water: the first would be only a drop, the last would depict the entire ocean. Light, like water is uncontainable. Even one beam of it from the flame of one candle goes on forever.
Today I am conscious of the eternal nature of light.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Purification
Today I discover purification.
This word makes me nervous because it brings to mind deprivation, self denial along the lines of not getting to eat certain foods, celibacy, self discipline to the extent it might be scary. It's impossible for me to purify myself in that, more traditional manner.
But when I go toward purification from the angle of letting go of everything that is harming me, every illusion that would hamper my progress or result in grief it seems like a useful idea. If I am pure I can feel the air accurately in, around and through me as I breathe, I can pause long enough to notice the point is the pause, and ride the feeling of what is happening now.
Purification is the sloughing off of all that is not needed in the moment. When you are stripped of all you don't need, you become light and amorphous and aware of everything; it's like floating, eternally lifted and grounded at the same time, and healing is instantaneous at that point.
Today I allow myself to be purified.
This word makes me nervous because it brings to mind deprivation, self denial along the lines of not getting to eat certain foods, celibacy, self discipline to the extent it might be scary. It's impossible for me to purify myself in that, more traditional manner.
But when I go toward purification from the angle of letting go of everything that is harming me, every illusion that would hamper my progress or result in grief it seems like a useful idea. If I am pure I can feel the air accurately in, around and through me as I breathe, I can pause long enough to notice the point is the pause, and ride the feeling of what is happening now.
Purification is the sloughing off of all that is not needed in the moment. When you are stripped of all you don't need, you become light and amorphous and aware of everything; it's like floating, eternally lifted and grounded at the same time, and healing is instantaneous at that point.
Today I allow myself to be purified.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Eternal Life and Detachment
Today I look for the Eternal in everything around me.
My fifteen year old daughter is a private person, so I won't disclose any information here about her recent surgery or stint in the hospital. I mention it only to emphasize that the dynamic between us has changed in the past month or so. In short, I've been acting like an over protective crazy person. She mentions a sore throat and I rush her into Urgent Care. I can barely drop her off at school.
It hit me today, about the on-going nature of life, that imagination links into the eternal aspect of being, reminding us that lots of what we perceive as happening around us is mental. Now what does this reminder of the Eternal have to do with my daughter?
It's feelings I'm getting at, the link between a mother and child, but ultimately any relationship between two people, where we feel an attachment. Our feelings about these experiences are True only in so far as they stay within the realm of actual being - when they slip into judgments, this situation is "good" or "pretty" or "bad," then we are allowing our mental preconditioning and habits delude us. There is always that potential, even when our preconceptions judge something as "good."
The Eternal lies in non-attachment to those we love, in allowing them to fulfill their own expression of being. Our precept ions about the world that are based on illusory mental conditioning aren't real anyway. In fact, the more we falsely attach, cling to people or situations out of ego, the more we strangle life itself, threatening our own Joy.
In light of the constant movement of life, the eternal balance and release erupting as life it is more useful to shift our paradigm from one of attachment to acceptance and celebration, for what it, for all of it as it is.
Today I celebrate the Eternal in all things.
My fifteen year old daughter is a private person, so I won't disclose any information here about her recent surgery or stint in the hospital. I mention it only to emphasize that the dynamic between us has changed in the past month or so. In short, I've been acting like an over protective crazy person. She mentions a sore throat and I rush her into Urgent Care. I can barely drop her off at school.
It hit me today, about the on-going nature of life, that imagination links into the eternal aspect of being, reminding us that lots of what we perceive as happening around us is mental. Now what does this reminder of the Eternal have to do with my daughter?
It's feelings I'm getting at, the link between a mother and child, but ultimately any relationship between two people, where we feel an attachment. Our feelings about these experiences are True only in so far as they stay within the realm of actual being - when they slip into judgments, this situation is "good" or "pretty" or "bad," then we are allowing our mental preconditioning and habits delude us. There is always that potential, even when our preconceptions judge something as "good."
The Eternal lies in non-attachment to those we love, in allowing them to fulfill their own expression of being. Our precept ions about the world that are based on illusory mental conditioning aren't real anyway. In fact, the more we falsely attach, cling to people or situations out of ego, the more we strangle life itself, threatening our own Joy.
In light of the constant movement of life, the eternal balance and release erupting as life it is more useful to shift our paradigm from one of attachment to acceptance and celebration, for what it, for all of it as it is.
Today I celebrate the Eternal in all things.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Purpose
Today I celebrate my own purpose.
I feel intense joy, connection, happiness with everything around me. I suppose what I feel is the tremendous awareness of the Truth of Love.
With that awareness of what is happening, of that truth, that everything is right with the world, that it is simply wrong mindedness that makes us see otherwise, I am to zero in on my own purpose in being here, and that feels fantastic, like everything's right and alright all around.
I am ready to fulfill my own purpose in being.
I feel intense joy, connection, happiness with everything around me. I suppose what I feel is the tremendous awareness of the Truth of Love.
With that awareness of what is happening, of that truth, that everything is right with the world, that it is simply wrong mindedness that makes us see otherwise, I am to zero in on my own purpose in being here, and that feels fantastic, like everything's right and alright all around.
I am ready to fulfill my own purpose in being.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Connections
Today I remember that I am connected.
I realize today how often it's more important for me to be right than happy, happy meaning aligned with the Truth. There's been this element of struggle to my interactions with the world I've let occur without planning it that way, especially with big decision - career, relationships, all of that. There's been a certain ridiculous selfishness to what I've done.
It's surprisingly easy for me to shift away from that false struggle when I'm quiet, and I accept everything around me, the Truth that is. When I listen to the Truth without ego or preconception - trying to stay clear about what's happening, than I become aware of the extensive network of support already around me.
Once I release my ego, and the fear that comes from its promptings, I can allow myself the luxary of my own being.
Today I relax into my connections with Truth.
I realize today how often it's more important for me to be right than happy, happy meaning aligned with the Truth. There's been this element of struggle to my interactions with the world I've let occur without planning it that way, especially with big decision - career, relationships, all of that. There's been a certain ridiculous selfishness to what I've done.
It's surprisingly easy for me to shift away from that false struggle when I'm quiet, and I accept everything around me, the Truth that is. When I listen to the Truth without ego or preconception - trying to stay clear about what's happening, than I become aware of the extensive network of support already around me.
Once I release my ego, and the fear that comes from its promptings, I can allow myself the luxary of my own being.
Today I relax into my connections with Truth.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Cradled in the Hand of God
Today I remember God cradles me in perfect forgiveness.
For some reason I was thinking of this nun I taught next to for several years twenty years ago, Sister Claudine. She was in her seventies at the time, but still she enthusiastically nutured a class of eighth grade students at this little Catholic school where I found myself working after I dropped my career as a lawyer.
Sister Claudine was the embodiment of Grace; she had this aura of kindness about her no matter what happened. She never complained about being tired, but I suspect she had to keep working because as a nun she didn't want to burden her sisterhood by retiring.
Anyways, I was in my mid-twenties, greener than green, with a class full of seventh grade English students when the Rodney King riots broke. We were all scared, the riots came very close to our school, and for some reason I found myself in her classroom that evening, and I told her was afraid to go home.
Sister Claudine took out this sculpture of a hand, the size of a real hand, and told me she kept it in her classroom as a reminder that all of us, are always in God's hand. I was instantly comforted; I even felt this sense of being cradled, held secure, despite any craziness that might be happening around me. I think of that hand often when I am nervous or uncertain about anything.
Today I remind myself I sit in the hand of God.
For some reason I was thinking of this nun I taught next to for several years twenty years ago, Sister Claudine. She was in her seventies at the time, but still she enthusiastically nutured a class of eighth grade students at this little Catholic school where I found myself working after I dropped my career as a lawyer.
Sister Claudine was the embodiment of Grace; she had this aura of kindness about her no matter what happened. She never complained about being tired, but I suspect she had to keep working because as a nun she didn't want to burden her sisterhood by retiring.
Anyways, I was in my mid-twenties, greener than green, with a class full of seventh grade English students when the Rodney King riots broke. We were all scared, the riots came very close to our school, and for some reason I found myself in her classroom that evening, and I told her was afraid to go home.
Sister Claudine took out this sculpture of a hand, the size of a real hand, and told me she kept it in her classroom as a reminder that all of us, are always in God's hand. I was instantly comforted; I even felt this sense of being cradled, held secure, despite any craziness that might be happening around me. I think of that hand often when I am nervous or uncertain about anything.
Today I remind myself I sit in the hand of God.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Friends and Lovers
Today seems like time to remember that wherever I am, the All is There too, and in that sense I am apart from friends and lovers.
I had the pleasure of spending the evening with two girlfriends who I hadn't seen in years tonight. We met for wine, artichokes, macaroni and to discuss the book The Guersey Potato Peel Pie Literary Club, (which seemed appropriate because we were in a book club together for neary 10 years around 10 years ago.) My daughter who is now fifteen joined us and we ended up discussing The Glass Castle instead, and looking at photographs of their kids and houses. The best part about seeing them was that it felt as if time hadn't passed at all; the feeling of attraction and sharing in their lives was essentially eternal, and all it took was their presence to remind me of that.
I was actually nervous about their visit because I am a bit of an introvert. Facebook is just plain overwhelming to me sometimes for that reason, overwhelming and awe inspiring. The feeling I had tonight at seeing them was nothing short of Joy - and that's a pretty lovely place to be - to realize that friends are close by no matter how far away they may feel mentally.
Friendship is the point where time and space are essentially suspended. Meeting people and making connections on line is amazing from that perspective too. There are so many of us here, now, and the on line connection is a reminder of the ecumenical unity of all things.
When we connect with just one other person we are connecting with the All. It's tempting to get greedy then with our Joy, to try and horde our friends and lovers to ourselves. I know I have a tendency to do that - to grasp hard at the source of my Joy and squelch it. But I'm finding that there is no love but God's love, and there's no need to be a miser with that. Hording it stops the circulation - the whole flow of What Is - like when you hold your breath.
So the big epiphany for today is that love is inclusive. When we see it as exclusive, that's when we shrink up, step out of what's real, and ruin it for ourselves. Of course it's a fallacy, even for an introvert, to lock oneself away. It is the connection of true hearts that will set us free.
Today I focus on friends and lovers.
I had the pleasure of spending the evening with two girlfriends who I hadn't seen in years tonight. We met for wine, artichokes, macaroni and to discuss the book The Guersey Potato Peel Pie Literary Club, (which seemed appropriate because we were in a book club together for neary 10 years around 10 years ago.) My daughter who is now fifteen joined us and we ended up discussing The Glass Castle instead, and looking at photographs of their kids and houses. The best part about seeing them was that it felt as if time hadn't passed at all; the feeling of attraction and sharing in their lives was essentially eternal, and all it took was their presence to remind me of that.
I was actually nervous about their visit because I am a bit of an introvert. Facebook is just plain overwhelming to me sometimes for that reason, overwhelming and awe inspiring. The feeling I had tonight at seeing them was nothing short of Joy - and that's a pretty lovely place to be - to realize that friends are close by no matter how far away they may feel mentally.
Friendship is the point where time and space are essentially suspended. Meeting people and making connections on line is amazing from that perspective too. There are so many of us here, now, and the on line connection is a reminder of the ecumenical unity of all things.
When we connect with just one other person we are connecting with the All. It's tempting to get greedy then with our Joy, to try and horde our friends and lovers to ourselves. I know I have a tendency to do that - to grasp hard at the source of my Joy and squelch it. But I'm finding that there is no love but God's love, and there's no need to be a miser with that. Hording it stops the circulation - the whole flow of What Is - like when you hold your breath.
So the big epiphany for today is that love is inclusive. When we see it as exclusive, that's when we shrink up, step out of what's real, and ruin it for ourselves. Of course it's a fallacy, even for an introvert, to lock oneself away. It is the connection of true hearts that will set us free.
Today I focus on friends and lovers.
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