Calcification

I'm getting my teeth cleaned today.

It's funny because I can walk around for awhile with grime on my teeth before I notice they are a mess - and it needs to be loosened and removed.

It's that way with old, ingrained of habits of perceiving other people too. I've noticed lately that lots of these habits are calcified; like with my teeth I interact with the same people the same way over and over again, and then judge them when they react the same way back without even knowing that I am perpetuating, creating the pattern.

Some of my habits were my parents habits - some probably come from their parents before them, so they really are ingrained. It actually is a form of liberation to notice what I am doing, and then scrape away all that - to decide to stop walking around with a dirty, built up psyche.

I've been working on channeling my mom and dad from the times when they were loving to me as parents, and noticing that channeling, and realizing, "oh yeah, I had pretty loving parents." It's funny how subtle and sneaky those negative habits are; it's like my ego wants to keep all these judgmental hang ups. It doesn't want to clean up.

I really am ready to get my teeth cleaned today. I really want to get rid of the prior baggage - the dirt and nonsense I'm throwing on lots of other people. I hurl residual garbage their way then wonder why I can't see them clearly, why they keep reacting to me the same way.

It makes more sense to "wave" to them from a clean vantage point instead, and let them "wave" back from a cleaned up angle.